My issues could fit into every single one of these categories. I'm a month post-breakup of relationship that lasted three and a half years. This, obviously, has caused me some mental grievance, causing me to lash out at those who irritate me. Mostly customers at my customer support job. I've been suspended because of this, causing me to lose a week's pay toward the rent of an apartment I cannot afford for much longer because of school. School is being neglected for reasons I cannot even explain. I just can't apply myself to it when I know it can be done. I just have no energy to get anything productive done and this makes me feel terrible. Everything is crashing down on me and I see no way out.
I'm so sorry to hear that. Break ups can be super hard to deal with and get over.. and you were in a very long relationship so it's even harder. I can understand that your entire mood would be affected which might cause you to be irritable & easily agitated and it stinks that you've been suspended :( You should seek out an academic counsellor and tell them about the stress you're going through. If you go to the mental health counsellors and explain all of this to them, they can write a note supporting your request to defer some exams or have some flexibility with an assignment deadline or something like that.. it's way better to do that then to not seek help and get bad grades. You just need some time.. There isn't that much left of this term (although when you're goign through that it may feel liek a really long time) but maybe take a reduced courseload next term? Remember that it DOES get better. Whether it's the good times or the bad times, time will always pass and things will always change. You may feel really bad now, but you won't feel like this forever. Eventually, you are going to get over this and move on with your life. It won't be immediate, you need time but little by little you're going to be able to take steps forward and you're going to get through this. Let your family & friends know exactly what they can do for you. Soemtimes we expect that they'll just know what to do and are sad when they don't do it, but instead say for example "hey ___, are you free in the next two weeks to have a day where we can just talk and watch movies and hangout, I'm going through a really hard time and I could really use having a friend around" or something. I wish you the best of luck & I believe in you & that you're going to get through this <3 :)
I'm constantly worried that I am going to develop schizophrenia like my mother. And that I will lose everyone and everything I love because of it.
And even though I know that what happened to her, and that her behaviour isn't her fault, I will never be able to forgive her for what she has done to me
ugh. "be positive" ... I'm sure that person was just trying to help but sometimes it's so hard to just "be positive". I'm really sorry to hear that your mom ha(s/d) schizophrenia. That must have been so difficult for her, you, and the rest of your family. But here's something to consider: you can't completely control 100% of what will happen to you throughout your life, which includes schizophrenia among other things. But you CAN control certain aspects of your life which WILL and DO affect many other parts of your life. For example: there have been correlational studies which have linked recreational drugs (including weed) to triggering schizophrenia. And stress can also have a severe impact on your body and trigger lots of different bad things.. maybe (though I don't know) even schizophrenia. I know it's easier said than done, but you can spend from now until you die, worrying that you will one day get schizophrenia, and maybe you won't even get it, and then you worried for nothing right? And let's say you do get it, did worrying help you in any way? Probably not. Just worrying and not doing anything about it is probably the worst choice. Now, you're actually being really smart by considering the possibility of getting it.. but the next smart thing to do would be to talk to a family doctor or specialist about certain triggers to avoid, or precautions to take, etc.
Also, I've personally dealt with a family member who has had a mental disorder, not quite to the severity of your mom, but I know it can be hard. I always resent this person for what they've done even though they "can't control it" I still think they can. It's hard to get these things and I know where you're coming from but be strong and try to enjoy each moment as much as you can (cheesy I know) but that's really all you can do... anything that has already happened has already happened and can't be changed (so you might as well not dwell on it cuz it only makes bad things last for longer than they should), anything that might happen is only a might (it might not, but we won't ever know until the time comes), and the only thing that we have control over is right now, and we can make the most of right now and I certainly hope you do
I live at home, since it's so much easier financially while in school. It's great. But, I have anxiety, and living at home only complicates things. I'm not here to complain- I love my family, but I truly need to vent.
My brother has aspergers (http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/asperger-syndrome). I love him insanely large amounts, and am SO proud of how hard he has worked to not take medication and relearn how he perceives things. But should he have to? Im not sure. Regardless, communicating with him is extremely hard. Things are so black and white with him, and there is no grey. Ever. If you make a rule, there are no exceptions, and trying to go back and explain that so many situations are subjective just causes him frustration. He cannot wrap his mind around it. It drains my mom, and it drains me. Change is hard on him too, to the point that when we moved last month, he could not pack his own belongings. I ended up missing countless classes just to help pack and clean. I then had to go explain to my professors why my assignments were late. Trust me- they aren't all sympathetic.
How am I supposed to keep from having anxiety attacks when the environment I live in only increases the chances of my stress sky rocketing???? I have been seeing a therapist for over a year now, have left a negative relationship over a year ago, and have altered my course load so I can better balance things. My grades are better, but I know I could do so much better if I could just afford to live on my own. Exam time is horrid. I pretty much end up locking myself in my bedroom to study (or the library, but because of my anxiety it's hard to go to a full library). My focus wanes- I just end up wanting to escape reality and procrastinate beyond belief. I had been keeping a blog for awhile, but my friends and family know of it, and as soon as I post anything about the struggles I'm dealing with (no names have ever been mentioned), I get pounced on, and have been asked to remove a post before ( I never have removed a post though). *sighs* I just don't know how to handle things anymore.
I have tried to work and do school at the same time, but with my anxiety, my grades suffer. I have no other means to moving out. I'm about to graduate, and unless I find a decent job right away, odds of me being able to afford moving out with my debt is slim. I'm sorry- this is just as much financial as it is mental. I just feel so incredibly trapped anymore.
I wouldn't worry about your brother.. just because he is different doesn't mean he isn't normal. I'm sure his life is happy you just need to remember that and hopefully will accept him as he is.
We are here for you.. we are your anonymous friends.. we are here to support you.
My brother is normal is a lot of ways, it's true :) I guess I worry more about him socially- he does not really have friends, never a true relationship and he's openly told me it bothers him...yet attempting to make friends also bothers him. We talk a lot haha. Slowly, I'm trying to learn and realize that he is just as able to be happy as I am - it is not my job to ensure he is happy either.
My issues could fit into every single one of these categories. I'm a month post-breakup of relationship that lasted three and a half years. This, obviously, has caused me some mental grievance, causing me to lash out at those who irritate me. Mostly customers at my customer support job. I've been suspended because of this, causing me to lose a week's pay toward the rent of an apartment I cannot afford for much longer because of school. School is being neglected for reasons I cannot even explain. I just can't apply myself to it when I know it can be done. I just have no energy to get anything productive done and this makes me feel terrible. Everything is crashing down on me and I see no way out.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that. Break ups can be super hard to deal with and get over.. and you were in a very long relationship so it's even harder. I can understand that your entire mood would be affected which might cause you to be irritable & easily agitated and it stinks that you've been suspended :( You should seek out an academic counsellor and tell them about the stress you're going through. If you go to the mental health counsellors and explain all of this to them, they can write a note supporting your request to defer some exams or have some flexibility with an assignment deadline or something like that.. it's way better to do that then to not seek help and get bad grades. You just need some time.. There isn't that much left of this term (although when you're goign through that it may feel liek a really long time) but maybe take a reduced courseload next term? Remember that it DOES get better. Whether it's the good times or the bad times, time will always pass and things will always change. You may feel really bad now, but you won't feel like this forever. Eventually, you are going to get over this and move on with your life. It won't be immediate, you need time but little by little you're going to be able to take steps forward and you're going to get through this. Let your family & friends know exactly what they can do for you. Soemtimes we expect that they'll just know what to do and are sad when they don't do it, but instead say for example "hey ___, are you free in the next two weeks to have a day where we can just talk and watch movies and hangout, I'm going through a really hard time and I could really use having a friend around" or something. I wish you the best of luck & I believe in you & that you're going to get through this <3 :)
DeleteI'm constantly worried that I am going to develop schizophrenia like my mother. And that I will lose everyone and everything I love because of it.
ReplyDeleteAnd even though I know that what happened to her, and that her behaviour isn't her fault, I will never be able to forgive her for what she has done to me
stay positive! Being positive will attract positive things to your life. x
Deleteugh. "be positive" ... I'm sure that person was just trying to help but sometimes it's so hard to just "be positive". I'm really sorry to hear that your mom ha(s/d) schizophrenia. That must have been so difficult for her, you, and the rest of your family. But here's something to consider: you can't completely control 100% of what will happen to you throughout your life, which includes schizophrenia among other things. But you CAN control certain aspects of your life which WILL and DO affect many other parts of your life. For example: there have been correlational studies which have linked recreational drugs (including weed) to triggering schizophrenia. And stress can also have a severe impact on your body and trigger lots of different bad things.. maybe (though I don't know) even schizophrenia. I know it's easier said than done, but you can spend from now until you die, worrying that you will one day get schizophrenia, and maybe you won't even get it, and then you worried for nothing right? And let's say you do get it, did worrying help you in any way? Probably not. Just worrying and not doing anything about it is probably the worst choice. Now, you're actually being really smart by considering the possibility of getting it.. but the next smart thing to do would be to talk to a family doctor or specialist about certain triggers to avoid, or precautions to take, etc.
DeleteAlso, I've personally dealt with a family member who has had a mental disorder, not quite to the severity of your mom, but I know it can be hard. I always resent this person for what they've done even though they "can't control it" I still think they can. It's hard to get these things and I know where you're coming from but be strong and try to enjoy each moment as much as you can (cheesy I know) but that's really all you can do... anything that has already happened has already happened and can't be changed (so you might as well not dwell on it cuz it only makes bad things last for longer than they should), anything that might happen is only a might (it might not, but we won't ever know until the time comes), and the only thing that we have control over is right now, and we can make the most of right now and I certainly hope you do
:)
Sometime I get nervous about the thoughts in my head.. I try to control them but they flash to scary things.
ReplyDeleteif you need help seek it. you're not in this alone
DeleteI live at home, since it's so much easier financially while in school. It's great. But, I have anxiety, and living at home only complicates things. I'm not here to complain- I love my family, but I truly need to vent.
ReplyDeleteMy brother has aspergers (http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/asperger-syndrome). I love him insanely large amounts, and am SO proud of how hard he has worked to not take medication and relearn how he perceives things. But should he have to? Im not sure. Regardless, communicating with him is extremely hard. Things are so black and white with him, and there is no grey. Ever. If you make a rule, there are no exceptions, and trying to go back and explain that so many situations are subjective just causes him frustration. He cannot wrap his mind around it. It drains my mom, and it drains me. Change is hard on him too, to the point that when we moved last month, he could not pack his own belongings. I ended up missing countless classes just to help pack and clean. I then had to go explain to my professors why my assignments were late. Trust me- they aren't all sympathetic.
How am I supposed to keep from having anxiety attacks when the environment I live in only increases the chances of my stress sky rocketing???? I have been seeing a therapist for over a year now, have left a negative relationship over a year ago, and have altered my course load so I can better balance things. My grades are better, but I know I could do so much better if I could just afford to live on my own. Exam time is horrid. I pretty much end up locking myself in my bedroom to study (or the library, but because of my anxiety it's hard to go to a full library). My focus wanes- I just end up wanting to escape reality and procrastinate beyond belief. I had been keeping a blog for awhile, but my friends and family know of it, and as soon as I post anything about the struggles I'm dealing with (no names have ever been mentioned), I get pounced on, and have been asked to remove a post before ( I never have removed a post though). *sighs* I just don't know how to handle things anymore.
I have tried to work and do school at the same time, but with my anxiety, my grades suffer. I have no other means to moving out. I'm about to graduate, and unless I find a decent job right away, odds of me being able to afford moving out with my debt is slim. I'm sorry- this is just as much financial as it is mental. I just feel so incredibly trapped anymore.
I wouldn't worry about your brother.. just because he is different doesn't mean he isn't normal. I'm sure his life is happy you just need to remember that and hopefully will accept him as he is.
DeleteWe are here for you.. we are your anonymous friends.. we are here to support you.
Your Guardian Angel,
-M-
My brother is normal is a lot of ways, it's true :) I guess I worry more about him socially- he does not really have friends, never a true relationship and he's openly told me it bothers him...yet attempting to make friends also bothers him. We talk a lot haha. Slowly, I'm trying to learn and realize that he is just as able to be happy as I am - it is not my job to ensure he is happy either.
DeleteThank you :)